Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Little Lost

So, Oh my goodness it is Spring! Crazy! And here in Bath it has been gorgeous. They say it is a heat wave but I am not sure if I agree with that..... Ha ha. They do not know what a heat wave is till that lived in the Valley of the Sun.

Anyway, with it being springtime I have realized how quickly time is flying by. Which is good and bad. Good because life should not feel like it is slow. But bad because, well, I have NO CLUE about what I am going to do with my life when I am done here. Which is in September. YIKES! That is, let me count..... 24 weeks till I am flying home. Now here is a question for you, is it flying home to pack up the rest of my stuff, be in Jacqui's wedding, say goodbye and move to England permanently, or come home from there? I. Have. No. Idea. And I keep telling myself I have time. But the thing is, I am slowly but surely running out of time.

Because either way I am going to have to figure out what I want to do to get some sort of income...... Hmmmmm. Not sure I want to go back into the classroom. I do not know if it because of the deep scarrage I got from my previous teaching experience, or because I really do want to do something different. And do I want to stay here or not?????? On one side I feel like I have struggled here so much on a personal level, but I did leave home because I felt stuck and knew there was nothing there for me at that point. And if I go home will I just fall back into the same easy pattern? Oh the decisions. Here is what my plan is so far:
Option A: Be discovered and asked to play Elphaba in the movie version of Wicked..... extremely likely, especially since I get freaked out singing in front of people.
Option B: Find a man to marry me and pay off my loans and I stay home and have his children.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, that could happen someday but I only have 5 months and do not know anyone with money like that.
Option C: Really a mixture of Plan A and B.
Option D: Pray for God's direction and have some faith...... Scariest one by far but the most reliable.

So I am a little lost. But not in a devastating way. Right now I am going with Option D since it is kinda the only option I have and who knows, maybe His plan is some version of all the options. I know without a doubt I was supposed to come here to Bath, and NOT for a MA degree. So I cannot let myself forget that. God has me here learning more than I ever expected and need to trust Him. Though I prefer to know where my life is headed, my faith is in need of stretching some more, so here we go. Praying for guidance. Would appreciate if you send any prayers my way about this.