Saturday, February 22, 2014

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I do not know if you have ever experienced this or not, but I have realized something lately.  And it is something God is trying to teach me how to deal with.  It seems to me, every time, or at least very often I try to do something good, it comes back to bite me.  This is especially true when it comes to trying to do something for God, to minister to others. 

I will admit that every single time I have written a new blog, the next day I am spiritually and emotionally attacked.  It is a very rough day. Every. Single. Time. I did not realize the correlation until a couple of blogs ago.  I did not know what to make of it.  I have considered stopping altogether. 

I am tired of fighting.  Not with anyone in real life.  But I am tired of fighting to be okay.  I have FINALLY gotten to a good place in my life after a decade of frustration.  Being content with where God has me and accepting His unconditional love.  And now, I try to use this silly blog and my writing to try and minister to others, and maybe give a little hope, all to get beaten down?  Well, I was not having it.  It did not seem worth it.

But then, I realized something.  There is probably a reason I would have a difficult time after trying to encourage others.  The evil one is not having it.  And am I going to let him win?  Heck, no.  It sounds simple enough, but as usual, I am a little slow on the uptake.

I am not saying that this blog is changing lives.  I am not that arrogant.  But it is something I believe God has called me to do, just in the hopes that one person can be ministered to.  Even if that person is just me, because I am processing and writing out what God has done for me.  It does not matter.  God has given me this gift, and it is wrong not to use it.

It goes for anything we are called to do.  It has happened in other areas of my life.  I feel I should love and encourage someone, only to get snapped at and hurt.  And I know I am too sensitive for my own good.  It comes with being a passionate person.  But now that I understand that even if it feels like I failed, and possibly did fail at what I was called to do it is not an excuse to stop doing it.  It actually could be an encouragement that you are doing something right.  Maybe. 

Life is going to be hard.  But that is when you have the greatest opportunity to experience the Lord's love.  If you know what He is asking of you, it is far better to do it than to not even try because you are scared of the pain that may come with it.  In the end, we all know which choice will reap rewards.  Don't let the evil one win. 

Keep looking for ways to minister. Keep doing good in the name of the Lord.  Keep seeking His will.  You may fail at it.  I do.  But get up, dust yourself off, and try again.  Don't shut it off because it hurts.  That only causes more pain. 

And if you need a shoulder to cry on, or and ear to listen while you vent when life hurts.  I am here.  I would love to love on you.